The 117th Annual Varsity Show:

It’s another banner year for Columbia! Scandal ensues after Chaz, an undercover cop, discovers a guerrilla army of hipsters selling an illegal, yet irresistible substance out of the ADP house. The only one who can stop them is University Senator Preston, who finds the army’s leader, Julia, even more irresistible. Soon, Preston finds himself in a pickle, torn between his love of Julia and his own self-righteousness.

A pickle that is made all the more sour by Preston's sister, Nora, whose struggle for campus fame leads her down a dangerous road.

Across that road is Jesse, a man at--whoops!--Barnard, where he must conceal his identity to remain at his dream school. But he finds a friend in Dean Kevin $hollenberger, who knows a thing or two about going undercover -- and has the sparkle pants to prove it.